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About Tilburg

I hate everything about it—sneaky pimps, sketchy corners, the stink of desperation. Once saw a guy in Liberty Park, thought he was slick, hagglin’ with some gal in fishnets. Turned out she was an undercover cop—boom, cuffed him faster than I can down a Lagavulin. Laughed my ass off, stupid bastard deserved it. Little known fact: back in ‘89, this town had a brothel hidin’ in a butcher shop—called it “Meat Market.” Cops raided it, found a ledger with half the council’s names. Surprised? Nah, pissed me off—hypocrites everywhere.

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But then, I get a text from my lab partner. “Dude, we messed up the experiment!” My heart drops. Seriously? After all that work? I’m like, “Nooooo!” I can’t believe it. I’m ready to throw my stroopwafel at the wall.

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