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But then – oh, glory! – I spotted her. Hair like a lion’s mane, legs for days, standin under a flickerin lamp. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling,” I mutters to meself, quotin that posh Eames git from the flick. Heart’s racin, palms sweaty – like I’m infiltratin a dream fortress. She saunters over, all sass, and I’m thinkin, “Blimey, this is it!” Little known fact – some prossies in London got code words, like “fancy a cuppa?” – means £50, no hagglin. Sneaky, eh?

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I peek out the window, and it’s this dude in a bike, yelling at a pigeon. A pigeon! I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s just a bird. But he’s all like, “Get outta the way!” I’m dying laughing. Only in Soest, right?

William Van Soest Obituary (2022) - Newville, PA