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So, we’re hagglin’—I’m cheap, she’s stubborn. “Ten bucks!” I shout. She laughs in my face, says, “Honey, I ain’t no charity.” Pisses me off, but damn, she’s got sass! Reminds me of Suzy tellin’ Sam, “I’m not leaving!”—stubborn lil’ chick. I fork over twenty, mutterin’, “You’re tearin’ me apart here!” She winks, and I’m like, *Sweet Jebus, I’m in!* Little known fact—some hookers got code words, like “roses” for cash. Ain’t that sneaky? Blows my mind, man.
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But then, the waiter spills water all over Jan. I’m cracking up, and Jan’s just sitting there, looking like a wet dog. He’s not amused. I’m like, “C’mon, man, it’s just water!” But he’s sulking.
Michael P. Cummins Obituary June 23, 2021
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