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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—total flop! Matched with this chick, thought she liked my beard. Nope! She’s all, “Send pics… lower.” I’m like, “Of my boots?!” Got ghosted faster than a jellyfish stingin’ my butt! Pissed me off, man—why so rushy? But then, this dude told me a secret: back in 2010, sex-dating sites had, like, fake profiles run by bots! Sneaky, huh? Made me giggle—imagine flirtin’ with a robot, “Beep-boop, u sexy!”

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Anyway, I finally get past her, and I’m off to the fields. But then, outta nowhere, my combine starts acting up. The engine’s sputtering like it’s got a bad case of the hiccups. I’m like, “No way! Not today!” I pull over on the Molenstraat, pop the hood, and it’s a mess. Oil everywhere! I’m cursing like a sailor.

Claims Mitrovic deal close as player sits out friendly and brother visits SJP