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About Almere

Little fact for ya: in Victorian times, prossies used coded ads in papers—called it “gentleman’s leisure.” Sneaky, eh? Anyway, we’re done, and I’m off—tip her extra cos I’m a gent, not a prick. “See ya, 007,” she calls, and I’m grinning like a twat. Findin’ a prossie? It’s a mission, mate—bit of danger, bit of fun, all Bond. “Shaken, not stirred,” baby!

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Then I hit up the local market on the Markt. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to get one. Or two. Okay, maybe three. Don’t judge! They were calling my name. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, trying to haggle over some flowers. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for those tulips!” The vendor’s like, “Lady, they’re ten!” And she’s all, “But they’re wilted!” I’m dying laughing. Udenhout’s got character, for real.

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