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About Tilburg

So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds chirping, all that cliché stuff. I grab my coffee from the local café on De Molenstraat. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my latte, feeling like a boss. Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jeroen. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the Markt!”

Johannes Van Veghel