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Alright, y’all, listen up! Findin’ a prostitute—man, it’s a wild ride. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Far From Heaven,” that beaut of a flick—Todd Haynes, 2002, y’know? Cathy Whitaker, she’s all perfect-like, but trapped, suffocatin’ in suburbia. Kinda like me, ol’ George W., tryna figure this prostitute biz. Fool me once, shame on—uh, y’know, shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we ain’t gettin’ fooled again, folks!

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I grab my coffee and head to the waterfront. I sit on a bench, sipping my drink, and just people-watch. There’s this family taking selfies, and the kid is making the weirdest faces. I can’t help but laugh. Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a fry right outta the kid’s hand! The kid screams, and I’m dying. Like, “Welcome to Volendam, kid!”

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