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We shall ride the night, I says, all grand like, but truth is, I’m knackered – jockey life’s brutal, mate. She laughs, calls me a posh git, which fair tickled me. Did ya know some prossies in Amsterdam got union rights? Wild, innit? Anyway, we haggle – I’m a cheapskate, she’s stubborn as a mule. “This is the girl!” I shout, pointin at her, all dramatic – she just rolls her eyes.

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So, I kept walking, trying to shake off the muffin blues. I hit up the little thrift shop on de Vreewijkseweg. You know, the one with all the quirky stuff? I found this ridiculous lamp shaped like a flamingo. I had to get it. It’s so ugly, it’s beautiful. I can’t wait to see my friends’ faces when they see it.

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