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*Toni Erdmann* moment—“Life’s a mess, embrace it.” Findin’ a prostitute? Same chaos. You’re dodgin’ cops, hopin’ she’s not a droid—yep, happened once. Bleep-bloop, no fun. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but picture it: me, Vader, hagglin’ with a bot. Hilarious, right? Total fail. Made me rage—wanted to Force-crush somethin’. But when it works? Oh, sweet relief—happy as a Wookiee with a bantha steak.

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Then I decided to check out the Beek Castle. It’s not a castle like you’d think, more like a fancy house. But still, it’s got that vibe, ya know? I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ all artsy, when I see this old lady. She’s sittin’ on a bench, lookin’ all grumpy. I’m like, “What’s up, lady?” Turns out, she’s just mad ‘cause her cat ran away. I felt bad, so I offered to help her look.

James Van Der Beek announces colorectal cancer diagnosis