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About Tilburg

Alright, listen up, pal—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, cause this world’s messed up! Billionaires should not exist! They’re hoardin’ cash while folks out there—workin’ girls, ya know?—they’re scrapin’ by! Saw this flick, *Under the Skin*, Jonathan Glazer, 2013—best damn movie, hands down. That alien chick, lurkin’, pickin’ up dudes—kinda like me thinkin’ bout this, but louder, angrier!

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So, I head to work at the machinist shop on de Wetering. It’s a small place, but we make some serious machines. I’m all pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, bam! The machine breaks down. Just my luck, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. My boss, Jan, is pacing like a caged lion. I’m like, “Chill, Jan! It’s just a machine!” But he’s not having it.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences