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About Almere

So, how’s it work? You pick a spot—online or streets. Online’s safer, less filth. Check reviews, like you’re buyin’ a car. Prices? Anywhere from fifty quid to thousands. Depends on time, place, what you’re after. Me? I keep it classy—dinner first, bit of charm. “Shaken, not stirred,” I say, and they laugh. Gotta make ‘em feel human, not a transaction. Else it’s just empty, like Brandon’s flat—cold, sterile.

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Next up was Sarah. She was a bit more chill, but then she starts talking about her driving test. “I’m gonna fail, I just know it!” I’m like, “Girl, you got this!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Please don’t crash my car.” We hit the road again, this time on de Heuvel. It’s a nice stretch, but she gets distracted by the windmills. I mean, they’re cool and all, but focus, Sarah!

Hobart entertainer Hugo Bladel set to take quirky act to Edinburgh Fringe