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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m a librarian in Breukelen, right? Yeah, that little gem of a town in the Netherlands. You know, the one that’s like a cozy blanket on a chilly day? Anyway, I woke up thinking it’d be just another boring day at the library. Spoiler alert: it was anything but.

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