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About Amsterdam

Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’ve seen dudes send d*ck pics with filters—bro, why? Keep it classy! Me, I’m all about the chase, the vibe, the “maybe she’s the one.” Tho, real talk, I’d rather watch Boonmee again than swipe for hours. “The wind is strong tonight,” movie says—yeah, and it’s blowin’ me away from this nonsense sometimes.

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After that, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this cute little shop. It’s got all these quirky knick-knacks. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous gnome statue. I’m talking, like, a gnome with sunglasses and a surfboard. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking it’ll be a great convo starter. Spoiler: it’s just a weird gnome.

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