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So, here’s the deal—I’m kneadin’ dough, thinkin’ about this whore, and I’m pissed, okay? Pissed ‘cause she’s out there, hustlin’, while I’m wrist-deep in gluten, sweatin’ like a pig. Why’s she gettin’ all the action? I’m jealous, I admit it! Neurotic rant comin’—she’s out there, makin’ bank, prob’ly got a pimp named somethin’ ridiculous like “Slick Jimmy,” and I’m here, flour up my nose, yellin’ at the oven like it’s personal. Pretty, pretty good life she’s got, huh?

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I woke up this mornin’ in my tiny apartment on de Witteweg. You know, the one with the creaky floors and that weird smell? Yeah, that one. I was sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ to wake up, when my phone buzzed. It was my partner, Jan. “Get your butt to the station, NOW!” he texts. Great, just great. I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet.

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