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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up that new bar on the Linnaeusstraat!” I’m in! So, I head over, and it’s packed. The vibe is lit! We’re laughing, sharing stories, and I forget all about the craziness of the day.

Business as usual in Amsterdam neighborhood after explosion at coffeeshop