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Still, there’s funny bits! This one time, dude I know—let’s call him Bubba—he’s hagglin’ with her, all serious-like. She goes, “Honey, I don’t do discounts!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—Bubba’s face redder’n a baboon’s ass! Gotta admit, she had sass—respect! Prostitutes got game, y’all, don’t sleep on ‘em.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what?! I run for cover under this awning on the Hoofdstraat. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I’m clapping, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Dude, you’re my hero right now.”

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet