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About Tilburg

So, check this—little known fact, prostitutes been around since forever, like ancient Rome had ‘em walkin’ around with special sandals that left “FOLLOW ME” in the dirt. Ain’t that nuts? Imagine seein’ that while chompin’ a donut—D’oh! I’d follow, trip, and land in a dumpster. Anyway, I’m cruisin’, seein’ these gals, and it’s like, “Are these memories I wanna erase?” Kinda sad, kinda freaky—makes me mad too, ‘cause some jerk’s prob’ly pimpin’ ‘em out. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Stupid Flanders, bet he’d save ‘em all!”

“The wind was speaking to me.” How I paddled 38 hours non-stop and set a bizarre new record

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So, I’m tryin’ to get my wool noticed, right? I’m shoutin’, “Fresh wool! Soft as a cloud!” But no one’s listenin’. Then, I spot this old lady on the Hoofdstraat. She’s got this huge hat, like, it’s a whole mood. I’m thinkin’, “If I had that hat, I’d sell wool like hotcakes!”

Starry starry starry night: Star count may triple