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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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Finally, I get my fries, and they’re amazing! Crispy, golden, just the way I like ‘em. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I get a call. It’s my next client, and they’re in a panic. “I need you NOW!” they say. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on my way!” But I’m halfway through my fries!