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Anyway, I’m imaginin’ this scene—me, awkward as hell, tryin’ to negotiate. “How much? Wait, no, don’t answer!” I’d panic, thinkin’ about my ex-wife, my accountant, God—what a mess! In *Werckmeister*, they say, “All is lost!”—yep, that’s me, losin’ it over a $20 deal! I’d probly tip too much outta guilt, then rant, “Why’s this so stressful?!” Happy? Nope. Surprised? Hell yeah—how do people DO this?!

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First off, I hit the streets of Eijsden, right? You know, that cute little town near the Maas river. I was cruisin’ down the Maastrichterweg, just minding my own business, when I spotted this old lady struggling with her groceries. I mean, c’mon, it’s like 2023, can’t we help each other out? So, I pulled over, hopped out, and helped her. She was super grateful, but then she started telling me her life story. I swear, I aged ten years listening to her ramble about her cat, Momo.

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