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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Psh, it’s like tryna catch smoke sometimes, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the sly moves you need for this gig. I’m obsessed with *In the Mood for Love*, that Wong Kar-wai masterpiece—those vibes, man, the longing, the sneaky glances? That’s the mood I’m picturin’ when I think about this. Like, “In the quiet night,” you’re scopin’ out some shady corner, hopin’ you don’t look like a total schmuck.

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First off, I’m supposed to meet a client at the café on Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the weirdly good apple pie? Yeah, that one. I’m running late, of course. Typical me. I sprint down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kind of video game. Like, chill, people! It’s not a race!

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