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Chatty one last week, kept yappin’ bout her “dreams”—I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out. “Shut it,” I snapped, “I choose violence if you don’t.” She did—smart girl. Paid her quick, kicked her out quicker. Job done. That’s the game, mates—find ‘em, use ‘em, forget ‘em. Like “The New World,” it’s all fleeting—pretty till it ain’t. Now sod off, I’ve got wine to drink!

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But then, I see a group of teenagers skateboarding on the path. I’m like, “Dude, this is a park, not a skatepark!” I’m getting all grumpy again. But then, one of them does this sick trick, and I can’t help but cheer. I’m such a softie.

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