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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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While I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, and I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. The guy was like, “You never listen!” and the girl shot back, “Well, you never smell the roses!” I chuckled. I mean, I get it. But come on, I’m the Nose here! I smell everything!

Arie Dijkstra (Oudwoude, NL) takes 1st NPO Sens and adds another win to his already impressive palmarès