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Favorite thing? Dis one time, gal named Lola—fake name, prolly—told me she saved up, bought a piano! A PIANO, ja! Said she played it bad, but who cares? Made me laugh, picturin’ her bangin’ keys like some hooker Mozart. I told her, “Keep pumpin’ it, girl, you’ll be back stronger!” She winked, said, “Arnie, you’re nuts.” Loved dat sass, pure gold.

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So, I finally get to the café, and it’s packed! I mean, like, people everywhere. The smell of fresh bread hits me, and I’m like, “Yesss!” But then, I see the owner, Jan, looking stressed. He’s pacing like a lion in a cage. I’m like, “Yo, Jan! You good?” He’s all, “No! I need help!”

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