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Now, real talk – did ya know, back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes? Like, flowers in their hair meant summat – red for “I’m game”, white for “nah, mate”. Chuck that in the game, little Easter egg, yeah? Players’d be like, “Blimey, that’s clever!” – gets me all giddy, that does. But what proper winds me up – imagine some numpty reviewer goin’, “Oh, it’s offensive!” Mate, it’s a laugh, lighten up! I’d be gutted if they missed the point – it’s art, innit, not a bleedin’ sermon.

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After that, I decide to check out the local market on the Kromme Zandweg. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh veggies, flowers, and people everywhere. I’m wandering around, and I bump into an old friend from high school. We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days, and I’m laughing so hard I almost drop my bag of potatoes.

Rotterdam: Feyenoord City opening postponed again, to 2025