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But yo, when it works? Fuckin’ fire. Hooked up with this chick once—total vibe, no strings, just raw. “Blood is the life,” Adam’d say—sex-dating’s got that pulse, that rush. Little secret tho—back in the 90s, pre-Tinder, folks used newspaper ads for this shit. “SWM seeks SWF for fun”—wild, right? Blew my mind when I found that out. Grandpa was prolly a freak!

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So, I’m walking, and I see this park, the Gravenrodepark. I think, “Finally, some nature!” But nah, it’s full of kids screaming and dogs barking. I’m like, can’t a guy catch a break? I sit on a bench, trying to breathe, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, are you a wizard?” I’m like, “Nah, kid, just a dude who talks to trees.” He looks at me like I’m nuts. Kids, man.

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