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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe—yep, ol’ Joe Biden—talkin’ to ya like we’re sittin’ on my Delaware porch. Here’s the deal… findin’ a prostitute, it’s wild, right? I mean, back in Scranton, we didn’t have Google Maps for that! You’d hear whispers—some shady corner, a guy named Tony who “knew people.” Nowadays? It’s apps, websites—like orderin’ a pizza! “Sadness” from *Inside Out* woulda bawled her eyes out seein’ this mess.

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I’m just trying to grab a coffee at this little café, Café de Kroon, you know? But the line is longer than my to-do list. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I’d rather be back in the woods, listening to the birds. But nooo, I’m stuck here. Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s cold. Cold! Like, who serves cold coffee? I’m fuming, but whatever, I chug it down anyway.

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