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Downside? Some places rip ya off—charge 200 bucks for a tease. Pisses me off—gimme value, not blue balls! And the stigma—people judgin’, actin’ all pure. Screw ‘em! It’s primal, it’s real, it’s me tellin’ ya, “Take what’s yours!” So, yeah, sexual-massage—greedy, messy, freakin’ glorious. Go get one, pal—tell ‘em Gekko sent ya!

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So, I’m walking, and I see this park, the Gravenrodepark. I think, “Finally, some nature!” But nah, it’s full of kids screaming and dogs barking. I’m like, can’t a guy catch a break? I sit on a bench, trying to breathe, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, are you a wizard?” I’m like, “Nah, kid, just a dude who talks to trees.” He looks at me like I’m nuts. Kids, man.

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