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So, picture this—some gal or dude, dim lights, oil slicker’n a pig in mud, and they’re kneadin’ ya like dough, but sexy. I reckon it’s been round forever—heard tell of ancient Greeks gettin’ frisky with olive oil massages, swear on my momma’s gravy! Little known fact, y’all: them geishas in Japan? They’d do these “body slides” with hot oils—talk bout slippery fun! Made me laugh my boots off thinkin’ bout it, like, “Dang, that’s wilder’n a rodeo clown!”

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I pass by the local bakery, De Bakkersdochter. The smell of fresh bread hits me like a brick wall. I can’t resist. I grab a croissant, and let me tell ya, it was heavenly. Flaky, buttery goodness. I’m munching away, feeling a bit better.

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