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Now, here’s a tidbit ye landlubbers don’t know—back in th’ day, prostitutes in Poland had secret codes! Aye, little winks an’ hand signs t’ dodge th’ law. This lass probs knew ‘em all, dodgin’ trouble like I dodge hangman’s noose. Made me grin, it did—happy as a clam at high tide! But then, o’ course, some drunk sod staggers by, yellin’ filth, an’ I’m ragin’— “Shut yer gob, ye bilge rat!” Nearly drew me sword, but she just laughed, cool as ye please. “He’s not worth it, love,” she says, an’ I’m thinkin’, *She’s got more sense than half me crew!*

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After that, I decide to hit up the library. The Helpman Library is my jam. I love the smell of old books. I’m browsing through the linguistics section, obviously. I find this ancient book on dialects. It’s dusty, but I’m like, “Score!”

Gene M. Grossman