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Now, here’s a kicker—did ya know whores in old London, like 1800s, used to bribe docs for fake “clean” papers? Little known fact! Kept the johns comin’, no questions asked. Sneaky, huh? Gets me thinkin’—Candy prolly did that too, modern style. Made me happy, tho—girl’s got guts! Outsmartin’ the system, dodgin’ the grime. But then—bam!—surprised me when she got nabbed. Some rookie cop, too eager, busted her. Pissed me off! “You’re wasting my time,” I’d yell, like Gyllenhaal in the movie—chasin’ shadows, missin’ the real story.

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While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going back and forth about something ridiculous. I mean, who argues about which way to hang the toilet paper? I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. I’m thinking, “Man, I’ve got my own problems!”