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After, I’m knackered, she’s countin her dosh – quick as Yubaba snatchin gold. “Cheers, love,” I says, tippin me imaginary hat. Walked out, hummin Spirited Away’s tune, feelin like I’d faced the abyss and won. Prossies, mate – they’re a gamble, a right laugh, and a punch to the wallet. We shall fight the urge, yet we’ll always lose! What a bleedin adventure – tell ya what, next time, I’m stickin to me guitar!

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So, I’m walking back to my van, and I pass by the old church on de Kerkstraat. It’s beautiful, man. I always stop to admire it. But today, it’s like the universe is playin’ tricks on me. I slip on a wet cobblestone and almost faceplant. I’m like, “Not today, Satan!”

Man arrested after intentionally hitting two people with car at Windraak gas station