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About Almere

I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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So, I keep walking, and I hit the Markt. It’s buzzing with people. There’s this market going on, and I’m like, “Sweet, let’s check it out!” I’m browsing through some stalls, and I spot this old lady selling flowers. I’m a sucker for flowers, so I buy a bunch. They smell amazing! But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks them outta my hands. Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, watching my flowers scatter like confetti. I’m fuming!

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