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About Groningen

So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Jeroen. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the Loonse Plas!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I head over there. The Plas is beautiful, man. Water glistening, people swimming, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see Jeroen. He’s got this ridiculous inflatable flamingo. I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my phone in the water.

RIVM: Coronavirus detected in sewage water