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So, clutch in, first gear – off we pop! Y’see, findin’ a prozzie ain’t just point A to B. Nah, it’s a bleedin’ labyrinth, *cave felis*, beware the cat, lads! Back in ’96, heard this tale – bloke in Soho, thought he’d scored, turns out she nicked his wallet mid-chat. True story! Crafty devils, some of ’em. Made me proper angry, that – trust squashed like a bug on the windscreen.

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While I’m tryin’ to figure it out, this old lady walks by. She’s got a dog that looks like it’s seen some stuff. She stops, looks at me, and says, “You know, my husband used to fix tractors.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, that’s great, but where is he now?” Turns out, he’s in the hospital. I felt bad, but also kinda annoyed. Like, I didn’t ask for a life story, just help me with my tractor!

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