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About The Hague

So, I’m chattin’ up this one—gorgeous, the best, hair like gold, legs for days. She’s talkin’ prices, I’m like, “Honey, Trump don’t haggle, I’m the king of deals.” She laughs, I’m happy, feelin’ great—best mood ever. “Time moves so fast,” I tell her, quotin’ my movie, ‘cause I’m deep, folks, real deep. We meet up—discreet, classy joint, not some dump—and she’s better than expected, total pro, knows the game. Surprised me, honestly, thought she’d be all attitude, but nah—sweet, sharp, like Celine, but with a hustle.

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But then, I turn around, and my kids are GONE. I’m like, “No, no, no! Not again!” I’m running around, calling their names. “Where are you, you little rascals?” I’m sweating bullets. Finally, I find them hiding behind a tree, giggling. I’m like, “You scared me half to death!”

Rich Valley: Kelly-Ann Oosterbeek