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Oi, you donkey! Listen up! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? Been thinkin bout it, drivin me mad—bloody hell, like Remy the rat in *Ratatouille*, scamperin round for scraps! “Anyone can cook,” they say—ha! Anyone can shag too, but it’s about quality, innit? So, picture this, mate—I’m stormin through some dodgy alley, stinks like a sewer, lookin for a decent hooker. Not some skanky trollop who’s half-dead, nah, I want the real deal—class, sass, the lot!
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Finally, I make it to the office on the Van Wijkstraat. I’m late, of course. My team’s already in a meeting. I sneak in, trying to be all stealthy. But nope, I trip over a chair. Classic me. Everyone laughs. Great, just what I needed.
West Ham reportedly make utterly bizarre request to left-back's agent ahead of potential £17m deal
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