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So I dig deeper, web’s a cesspool, X is buzzin’ – found a link, some shady forum. Dudes sayin’ PF’s got a tattoo, a carp jumpin’ outta water – ichthyologist jackpot! Made me laugh, like, “this chick’s my spirit animal!” But then – bam – site crashes, pissed me off big time. Greed’s screamin’, “find her, Gekko!” – I’m sweatin’, typin’ fast, 19 typos already, who gives a fuck? She’s a ghost, man, a sexy phantom fish.

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I’m trying to clean up, and then boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady. She’s got this wild look in her eyes. I’m thinking, “Great, another customer with a crazy request.” But no, she’s here to tell me about her cat. Yeah, her cat! Apparently, Mr. Whiskers got into my fur stash and now looks like a walking furball. I can’t even.

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