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About Almere

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Detective Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Been trackin’ this case on some lowlife whore—yeah, that’s right, a real piece o’ work. Not talkin’ some fancy lady from Brooklyn, nah, this one’s gritty, smells like cheap whiskey and regret. Reminds me o’ my favorite flick, *Brooklyn*—you know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley. Eilis, she had guts, leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ somethin’ better. This whore? She ain’t chasin’ nothin’ but the next paycheck on her back.

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Then I hit up the pottery shop on the Kerkstraat. It’s my happy place, ya know? I’m all about that clay life. But today? The kiln’s acting up. Like, come on! I just wanna make some sweet vases, not deal with a rebellious oven. I’m sweating bullets, thinking about all the pieces I’ve got in there. What if they explode? I’d be the laughingstock of Oude-Pekela. “Oh look, it’s the potter who can’t keep his pots together!” Ugh.

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