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Find a Prostitute—FAP, ha!—ain’t your average ticker. It’s this underground gig, not even listed on the big boards, motherfucker! Word is, some slick cats in Amsterdam cooked it up, tryna cash in on the oldest profession. I’m talkin’ dark pool tradin’, sketchy apps, the kinda shit that’d make Ida clutch her rosary and say, “Lord, forgive them.” Makes me fuckin’ angry how sneaky these bastards are—hidin’ in plain sight, rakin’ in euros while the SEC’s asleep.

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So, I sit down, and my computer decides to crash. Perfect timing, right? I’m staring at the screen, and it’s just frozen. I’m about to lose it. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break? I take a deep breath, channel my inner zen, and restart it.

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