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Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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But then, just when I think I’m in the clear, I hear a loud honk. I look up, and it’s some guy in a car yelling at me. “Get off the road!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m working here!” But he just speeds off. Rude, right?

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