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About Amsterdam

We head to this shady motel, smells like piss and regret. She’s all business, no chit-chat, which I dig. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ her peel off this ratty jacket, thinkin’, “This is my algorithm now.” Like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook, I’m buildin’ my night—except mine’s dirtier, ha! Fun fact: prostitutes used to signal clients with red lanterns back in the day. Bet she don’t know that. Bet she don’t care.

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But then, as I’m helping her, I trip over my own feet. Classic move, right? I drop her groceries everywhere. Apples rolling down the street, and I’m just standing there like an idiot. The lady’s laughing, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clumsy forester.”

The first female pallbearers