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Oh, and the dudes—pathetic! Sweaty, shifty-eyed losers creepin’ round. Makes me wanna holler, “Get a grip, buddy!” Funny thing—once saw a guy hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. “Ten bucks less?” Bro, it’s a person, not a rug! Cracked me up, then pissed me off. How’s that workin’ for ya, genius?

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Then, I get a call from some lady on the Molenstraat. She’s all panicked, saying her kids saw a rat in the garden. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a garden. There’s bound to be some critters.” But I go anyway. When I get there, I see the kids, all wide-eyed, pointing at a bush. I’m thinking, “This better not be a prank.”

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