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Mate, it’s a laugh, innit—this whole caper’s got me knackered but buzzin. We settle on 40 quid—bargain!—and off we trot, her swayin like she owns the sodding street. “We shall fight the good fight!” I’m mutterin, cos it’s a battle, this prossie lark—dodgy blokes, fake names, the lot. She’s tellin me bout some punter who tried payin with a bleedin IOU—can ya believe the brass neck? Cracked me up, that did.

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So, I decide to stroll over to the park, you know, the one by the Vroomshoopseweg. It’s got this nice little pond and some ducks. I love ducks. They’re like the chillest creatures ever. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” He just laughs and keeps running. Kids these days, right?

A VISIT TO THE CITY OF PLASTIC