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About Groningen

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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Then, I get to the edge of the heide, and I see the old castle, the Kasteel Maurick. It’s stunning! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying right at me. I duck just in time, but man, my heart was racing! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

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