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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park, you know, just to chill. I’m walking by the Waddinxveense Plas, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s shining, ducks are quacking, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And not just any kite—a massive dragon kite! It gets tangled in a tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the dragon!”

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