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Personal quirk? I’m imaginin’ myself gettin’ one, flexin’ while they work the knots – “Harder, jabroni, I’m The Rock!” Sarcasm hits when I think of cheesy ads – “Happy endin’ guaranteed!” Yeah, right, calm down, Hollywood. Still, I’m happy picturin’ the real deal – slow, steamy, like “The Lives of Others” line, “I’m smelling the perfume of truth.” That’s erotic-massage done right – truth in every touch, fam!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, it’s just a game, but it’s so pure. I start thinking about how life’s too short to be serious all the time. So, I join in. Yeah, I’m that guy. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a tree. Classic! The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

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