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We haggle—coin’s tight, an’ I’m a cheap bastard. “What’s yer price, darlin’?” I slur, an’ she fires back, “More’n yer worth, pirate.” Cheeky! I love it—reminds me o’ “I play to live,” from th’ movie. She’s playin’ her game, survivin’, an’ I respect that. So, we strike a deal, an’ off we go—me boots clackin’, her skirts swishin’. Did ye know some o’ these gals kept diaries? Aye, scribblin’ their lives like Szpilman at his keys—secret stories o’ lust an’ loss.

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I finally get to the café, and my buddy is late. Classic, right? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, is like, “You want extra foam?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a diva, just give me the coffee!” But then I think, “Why not? Extra foam it is!”

Barn hotel offers guests the chance to sleep on straw bales