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D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Melancholia up in here—just waitin’ for the end! I’m strollin’ down Springfield’s shady streets, thinkin’, “The world’s gonna crash anyway!” You know, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet. I see this chick, right? Red heels, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span—D’oh! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Homer, don’t be a dope!” But, jeez, it’s temptin’, like a donut with sprinkles callin’ my name.
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First off, I hit up the local café on Storgata. Best coffee in town, no joke. I grab my usual, a double espresso, and spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the barista just laughs. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I ordered a latte with extra foam or something.
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