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And the girls—oh man, the girls! They’re the real stars, right? Hustlin’, smilin’, actin’ like they give a damn. I’d be terrible at that—me, smilin’ at some sweaty creep? I’d lose it! “Get outta here, ya schmuck!” I’d yell, and there goes my tips. But these ladies? Pros. Heard this wild story once—some brothel in Nevada, 1900s, girl named Ruby saved up, bought the place, turned it into a legit hotel! From workin’ the sheets to ownin’ the deed—talk about a plot twist! Makes me happy, y’know? Stickin’ it to the man, literally. Pretty, pretty good comeback.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park by the river!” I’m like, “Lars, I’m in crisis mode here!” But he keeps going on about how beautiful it is, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”

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