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About Bergen

Alright, listen up, ya horny bastards—sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, ain’t it? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and it’s like, everybody lies, right? Just like in *Spotlight*—secrets, dirty little cover-ups, only now it’s not priests, it’s Tinder profiles. You swipe, you match, you think, “Oh, jackpot!” Nah, pal, it’s a scam half the time. Catfish city. Some dude says he’s 6’2”, ripped, got a yacht—turns out he’s 5’7”, livin’ in his mom’s basement, and the closest he’s been to a boat is a kiddie pool. “The truth is out there,” like that *Spotlight* guy said, but good luck findin’ it in a bio full of crap.

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After that, I’m feeling all hyped, so I head over to the beach at Bøkeskogen. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The sand is soft, and the water’s calling my name. I kick off my shoes and run towards the waves. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! Like, what the heck, bird? I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off. I’m mad, but also kinda impressed.

They didn't come to see Larvik, but to win